Creating Safer, Stronger Workplaces for Men: Why Kindness is Lifesaving 

Rae Bonney OAM | WHS Show Melbourne 2025

At the recent Workplace Health & Safety Show in Melbourne, Rae Bonney OAM delivered a deeply personal and powerful message that challenges how many of us think about men’s mental health and workplace safety. Drawing on over a decade of experience supporting men in high-risk, male-dominated industries, Rae’s core message was simple yet profound: 

“Kindness and care save lives. You don’t need a psychology degree to use them, just humanity.”

Her words invite us to rethink how we support the men we work alongside every day, not as distant statistics, but as real people carrying complex pressures. 

What’s really going on behind the stats? 

Men in blue-collar roles make up around 30 percent of Australia’s workforce but account for an overwhelming 96 percent of workplace fatalities. When it comes to mental health, too often the conversation focuses narrowly on clinical illness. Rae points out this misses a crucial part of the picture. 

“The data shows us it’s not always about mental illness, it’s about situational crisis: relationship breakdown, financial pressure, loss of access to children.”

This reminds us that mental health is deeply tied to life’s circumstances. For many men, the urgent need might be legal advice, financial support, or simply someone willing to listen without judgment. True leadership begins by looking beyond what’s obvious. 

Meet hypothetical Harry 

Rae introduced the story of ‘Hypothetical Harry,’ a composite figure representing many men juggling untreated injuries, financial strain, family breakdowns, and social isolation. His story is not rare or isolated, it’s systemic. And sadly, it often ends in tragedy. 

When Rae asked the room how many knew someone like Harry, nearly every hand rose. 

“These aren’t one-off stories. They’re systemic. And they’re preventable.” 

This moment serves as a stark reminder that the pressures men carry don’t stop when they clock in or out. The ripple effects touch workplaces, families, and communities. The challenge for leaders is to recognize the hidden struggles before it’s too late. 

Change the lens. Look beneath the surface. 

Using the powerful metaphor of an iceberg, Rae urged those in leadership to shift how they observe and respond to behavior in the workplace. Lateness, aggression, or withdrawal might be symptoms, not the cause. Beneath the surface could be trauma, chronic pain, shame, or relationship stress. 

Her tools for change are surprisingly straightforward: 

• Change how you see — Look under the iceberg 
• Change how you respond — Shift from reacting to understanding 
• Change how you ask — Replace “How are you?” with “What does it feel like being you today?” 

Rae shared how one question like this changed her own life, opening the door to honest conversation and self-care during a dark time. 

This reminds us that genuine connection requires vulnerability and patience, qualities that create safer, more resilient workplaces. 

The power of support and small acts 

Rae’s keynote was rich with stories, from her own childhood trauma to her daughter’s experience witnessing a traumatic event, and the layers of support that helped them cope. 

In one of the most moving moments, she recounted the story of a client named Jacob, a high-performing leader who, after a sudden medical condition and loss of identity, was on the verge of suicide. A single smile from a barista in a moment of kindness, shifted him from despair back toward hope. 

“She’ll never know what she did. And nor should she. But that’s the impact of care. It’s real. It’s powerful. And it doesn’t cost a cent.” 

A new model for male wellbeing in the workplace 

Rae’s call to action was clear and urgent. Systems often overlook men’s specific needs from policy gaps to wellness programs that do not truly connect. 

She challenged leaders to: 

• Build structures of support before crises emerge 
• Rethink how distress is measured and responded to 
• Embed kindness, care, and genuine curiosity into leadership at every level 

This is a call to create workplaces where men can bring their whole selves without fear or stigma. Because behind every ‘hypothetical Harry’ is a real person with a story, a family, and a future. 

Real change starts by asking the right question and then being ready to listen with empathy. 

About Rae Bonney

Rae Bonney OAM is a workplace mental health specialist, counsellor, and long-time advocate for men’s and boys’ health. Known for her compassionate, no-nonsense approach, Rae works with organisations to create safer, more inclusive, and psychologically supportive environments. She was awarded an Order of Australia Medal in 2025 for her contribution to mental health advocacy.

Connect with Rae on LinkedIn or learn more here.